The cat is officially out of the
bag. Laura and Zack are getting a
brother. Kyle Chengjin Robbins will join
our family sometime this summer.
Kyle turned three on 10 Mar, so
that makes him just slightly older than Zack.
In adoption circles, this is known as virtual or artificial twinning and
adopting out of birth order. Our placing
agency and social worker did not have concerns about this, but there are
different schools of thought on both of these things. Normally the children most recently added to
the family get to be the baby…not quite so with Kyle. We don’t expect there to be any huge
issues. We are calling Kyle Zack’s “little
big brother” since Zack is quite a bit bigger, at least at this point.
The virtual twinning should be
interesting. We certainly don’t intend
to tell them they are twins or present them to the world as twins, but we know
people will probably make that assumption from time to time. They will also be in the same school grade. FAQs
1. Are Kyle and Zack brothers? No, I mean real brothers.
They are not biologically related
and are from different provinces. They
are however, both from Northern China. When
Kyle joins our family, he will be Zack and Laura’s brother. Their real brother. No discussions.
2. Is it cheaper/easier to adopt a second child
from China?
The adoption costs the second time
around are a little bit less. We have
remained with both the same placing and home study agency, so that has helped
with fees. China allows some of the same
paperwork to be used for a subsequent adoption if certain conditions are
met. So the short answer is yes, but we
are still in the middle of the process.
Ask us at the end and we may tell you something different. International adoption is still very
expensive, tedious and time consuming and there is just no way to get around
that.
3. Does
Kyle have a special need?
Kyle is a healthy child. Like Zack, he is being adopted through China’s
Waiting Child Program. Kyle had some
intestinal surgeries when he was a tiny baby but he is perfectly fine now. We don’t plan to discuss his medical history
in any more detail than this. We’ve been
pretty open about the details of our adoptions but it’s time to dial back on
some of the personal and medical info.
At some point in the not-too-distant future, our boys will have opinions
about how much of their stories we share.
There are parts of this story that belong to our family that we will
share but there are parts that belong to my children who are not old enough to
make decisions on what they want to share…enough said.
4. Another one?!?
Wow! You must be some kind of
saint!
Actually someone called me a nun
the other day. Yes...obviously she was
not someone well acquainted with me. At
all. Really…we’re not do-gooders. While we respect that there are people who
are on the same path that we are to “save orphans” or “rescue children”…that is
not us. We’re fairly selfish in our
reasons for adopting and see bringing Kyle in to our family as a win for
everyone.
We look forward to sharing pictures and more detailed
information soon. For now, just be
assured that once again, China picked their best looking little boy for our
family.
3 comments:
How wonderful! I have been reading your blogg for preparational issues, we are picking up our son by the end of the month. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you for reading my blog! I am glad it has helped you. I hope you have a wonderful trip to China!
You might want to follow our story: www.sindri.hjalti.se
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