I wanted to add a quick post on Reindeer Dust, since I forgot to mention it in my last post.  On Christmas Eve Eve, December 23^rd, we had a gathering at our home for our “Air Force Family”.  Being in the military and living the transient, nomadic lifestyle that we do, we tend to form closer, quicker bonds with the people we’re assigned with.  Not everyone can go home to be with family at Christmas, but that’s not an excuse not to celebrate.  So, on December 23^rd, we had 18 of our nearest and dearest over for dinner.  Naturally, I did not cook for everyone.  Yes, I have an amazing kitchen and mad, mad cooking skills, but I did not cook for 21 people.  It was sort of a potluck…with a lot of alcohol.  But anyway, as us ladies were going back and forth on which family would bring what, my dear friend Becky said that she would bring “stuff to make Reindeer Dust”.  My thought was “what the heck is that”, but I let it go.  A few weeks earlier, we had gathered at Becky’s house to have “Junkyard Cake”, which was what I’d always known as “Dump Cake”.  Yeah, Junkyard does sound more appetizing…weird as that is.  So, I thought Reindeer Dust was just her different name for something.  I did not put a lot of thought in to it, but I remember imagining this as Muddy Buddies or Puppy Chow.  We all have our different traditions growing up, and this was just not one of them for us – but it is now.  You make up a baggie of dry oatmeal and different colors of glitter.  You sprinkle it on the lawn or in your driveway so that Santa can see where to land his sleigh…since the glitter is…well, glittery.  I guess the Reindeer eat the oats as a treat for finding the house.  Apartment dwellers…sorry…not sure what your alternative is.  I’m sure there is one.  We left out the traditional milk and cookies (although interestingly enough, around here, Santa is rumoured to get fruitcake and whisky) and we did the reindeer dust.  With Laura, I sometimes left a “thanks for the cookies, your mom rocks” kind of note or made a bootprint, but I didn’t with Zack…he would not have understood that this year.  So…I thought that was a really cool thing to do and wanted to share our new Christmas tradition. 

Zack after putting Reindeer Dust on our front step.  We put some in the back garden just in case. 

The grownups...after dinner and before the Reindeer Dust making.  Becky and I are wearing the purple crowns. 

 

4 Months

It is December 27^th.  Exactly four months ago, we met a scared little two year old boy in the Taiyuan Social Welfare Institute.  Today, there is a two and a half year old wild man running around our house in England who is happy, well adjusted, secure with both parents, and babbling in English.  Keep in mind no one spoke English to this child until we showed up 4 months ago.  He’s held on to a couple of Chinese words, but he’s got a good library of nouns and is starting to speak in simple sentences.  He’s a little difficult to understand for an outsider, but I think most two year olds are. 

 

Zack has gained 3-4 pounds since we’ve brought him home (this has been going up and down since he’s been sick) and has grown about an inch.  He’s outgrown some of his clothes and shoes already.  He’s survived his first visit to the barber shop, his first ear infection, and has celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas with his new family.  He loves Turkey, pie and butter cookies, and he’s really digging all of the candy we have around the house.  He was pretty impressed by the spoils on Christmas morning although I don’t think he really understood the whole Santa thing.  He was willing enough to sit on Santa’s lap for some pictures, although he seemed a little bit suspicious, but the whole “better watch out” concept and Santa bringing presents are things that he’ll probably have a better grasp of next year.  He enjoyed a month of “Sam”, our elf on the shelf.  I don’t think he really understood the whole “flying back to the North Pole every night to report back to Santa” but he did have fun looking for his elf every morning.  I did a few creative things with Sam, but Zack was pretty easily amused by any spot he found Sam in every morning. 

And since this is my blog and I can say what I want…what is up with people “not doing” Santa?  When I was a little girl, all of the kids believed until a certain age when they figured it out on their own or an older sibling let the cat out of the bag.  Folks who didn’t include some sort of Santa Claus tradition in their Christmas celebration were really in the minority…now it seems about an even split with a great many parents not introducing their kids to Santa stuff at all.  So sad.  I saw a lot of people doing a lot of fun and crazy things with their elves on their shelves all over Facebook and Pintrest.  There are some really creative (and twisted) people out there.  Lots of people trying to “out-elf” their friends and neighbors, but all in fun.  But of course then we get the naysayers who slam the elfish fun by tsk-tsk-ing how terrible it is that we tell our children that the elves are watching and reporting their naughty and nice behavior to Santa.  Are we trying to give them a complex?  Make them paranoid?  Scare them with the creepy little elf watching them while they sleep (OK, I will admit, there is some truth to the creepy factor of the little guy).  I grew up being threatened with switches and coal in my stocking if I wasn’t a good girl.  What happened to taking the words “you better not pout, you better not cry because Santa Claus is coming to town” just a little bit seriously?  I turned out all right.  When did this pseudo political correctness invade Christmas…er…I mean the Winter Holidays. Ugh.  OK, I am leaping off the soapbox for now.  Honest. 

So, back to Zack.  He is great.  He and the cat have some sort of uneasy truce.  The cat isn’t crazy about Zack and appears to be majorly annoyed when Zack “pets” him but Henry tolerates quite a bit and is willing to put himself in the path of Zack much more than I ever thought.  And Zack has really come a long way toward petting the cat gently…at least he starts out gentle.  It usually escalates to tail-pulling and attempting to pick Henry up.  But, Henry has never bit or swatted at him (cat has no claws).  He’s done quite a bit of hissing, which Zack thinks is very funny. 

He is an outgoing and generally good humored child.  He’s got his stubborn “terrible two” moments, but overall, he’s exceptionally well-behaved and well-adjusted, all things considered.  We’ve got some different rules in our house than he was used to during his first two years and transitioning to that has been a little bit difficult.  The lesson that throwing toys across the room (or at your mother) for fun or in anger is not tolerated is still being learned.  He’s learned a couple of neat tricks at nursery that don’t necessarily go over well at home – throwing himself down on the floor face-first when something doesn’t go as he wishes – is one.  But really, we can’t complain.  And we don’t.  His sleep still isn’t great and I think that is just Zack.  We have a pretty tight bedtime routine and he’s pretty easy to put to sleep…but he seldom sleeps through the night.  If he gets up only once during a night, I call that a success.  He’s normally pretty easy to put back to bed once he’s up, but the hard part for us is that sometimes, the up and down dance can occur multiple times.  About once a week, he will randomly get up about every hour between say…one AM and when it’s time to get up.  That is rough.  It would be rough on younger parents who don’t have to get up at 5:30…it is really hard on us.  Good thing we are in good shape – that has helped me a lot with the sleep deprivation. 

Zack continues to do well at full-time nursery school.  He likes to play with toys that are relatively simple – wooden blocks, large Leggos, his wooden train set, stacking cups/blocks, etc.  He enjoys being read to and will occasionally quietly look at books on his own.  He likes to run and play outside and does really well on the playground equipment.  We recently took him to an indoor play place and he did really well with that.  Lee made him a video library of Disney movies, Thomas the Tank Engine, Nie How Kai Lan and Barney.  The Barney was a throwback from when Laura was little – I remember how an episode of Barney would allow me to wash the dishes, paint my nails or just read a book without being climbed on.  He’s still just as annoying and 2 year olds still love him just as much. 

We’re having moderate success with potty training.  Thomas the Tank Engine underpants seemed to have caused things to turn a corner.  He’s very concerned about having an accident on Thomas.  Hey, it works.  So do Skittles and stickers as potty rewards. 

I think he’s pretty well attached to both Lee and I.  He plays favorites throughout the day either randomly or because the other parent has done something he dislikes.  He is on the outgoing side and will sit with/climb on most people that we introduce him to.  We keep him pretty close to us/contained when we’re out and about and we have a fairly tight circle of people he interacts with.  He seems to prefer the women to the men but he does not seem afraid of men.  He’s only reacted negatively to one person we’ve introduced him to – an Asian man in his late 40’s that works with my husband.  Zack was very clear with his body language that he did not want this wonderful and friendly man anywhere near him – must have sparked some kind of negative memory.  Zack gives spontaneous hugs and kisses to both Lee and I and we feel very fortunate the bonding process seems to have gone so well for us so far. 

This post has been a little longer and more rambly than I’d intended, but as we go in to 2013 and as I look toward an overhaul of my blog – you should see it looking much more slick within the coming months – I wanted to put a little something up about this branch of our family tree.  Happy New Year to everyone.  2012 has definitely been a great year in this house and we have many, many blessings to be thankful for. 

 

 

Sergeant Coco

Zack has been with us for a little shy of 3 months.  When we showed up at the Taiyuan Social Welfare Institute on August 27^th, I’m pretty sure that we were the first English speakers that Zack had ever encountered.  One of the most common questions people would ask us in response to learning we were adopting a child from China was “does he speak English”…sometime followed by “are you going to teach him to speak English”.  Here’s your sign.  Yeah.  Now we get asked a lot – “How is Zack’s English coming along”.  Well, here is your answer. 

Fact:  most people in China do not speak English.  Zack is from a rural and pretty remote part of China.  We were not able to go to Yuncheng City while we were in China, but I would venture to guess that you’d have a pretty hard time finding anyone who spoke English.  On “Gotcha Day”, Zack had quite a bit of language and was speaking in sentences…not that we could understand any of it.  He quickly figured out that we did not understand his words and started to use sign language/motions to tell us what he wanted.  He kind of looked at us with an expression that probably meant “what kind of dummies did they stick me with, anyway” and then he’d take me by the hand and lead me to whatever he wanted me to see.  If he wanted to go outside, he would bring me my shoes and point to the door…stuff like that. 

His receptive language took off almost instantly.  By the time we left China, he understood about three quarters of what we were saying to him.  Now at 3 months home, he is talking quite a bit.  His favorite word seems to be “NO” at the moment…I mean, come on…he’s 2.  Over the past couple of weeks, he has started to say yes and nod his head.  He will tell us when he is hungry – he will say “eat” or “wa-wa eat”….he still does refer to himself as “wa-wa”, which is Chinese for baby but when asked where Zack is, he will point to himself.  Occasionally, he will see a picture of himself and say “Zack”.  When hungry, he will ask for a banana or yogurt or go to the cabinet where I keep the oatmeal and tap on it and say “eat”.  He calls Henry “Henry” or “kitty” although that is a little hard to understand.  All drinks are “water”.  He says apple, orange, cookie and cracker pretty clearly...banana for whatever reason is.  He says “mama, daddy (although he still mostly calls Lee baba) and sissy, of course.  Most little kids are “wa-wa or baby”.  He points to his nursery school building and says “school”.  He can say and identify a variety of animals (including Elmo and monsters) and makes the noise that goes along with the animal.  He says “big mess” if he gets food on the floor or drags a bunch of toys out.  He says bed, night-night, bath and “brush teeth”.  He can point to most of his body parts when asked to identify them and has taken to pulling his shirt up and saying “belly”.  He’s started to speak in simple sentences…he pointed to our bed the other day and said “mama/baba bed” and when I asked him where Zack’s bed was, he ran in his room and pointed to his bed and said “wa-wa’s bed”.  The other night at dinner, he pointed to me and said “mama eat”…it actually comes out as “eateeeeeeee”.  It’s cute.  Today, he told me that Coco (his stuffed bear) is in the Air Force.  When I was on adoption leave after we brought him home, he’d always ask where Lee was in the morning and I’d tell him “daddy goes to work in the Air Force”.  When we drive on base, I tell him “Air Force”.  Coco slept with us (yes, sigh, all of us) in our bed last night and for whatever reason, Coco was out of favor this morning.  Zack chucked her across the room (the whole throwing toys things is something we have to work on) and said “Coco Air Force”…which I think meant that Coco went to work.  At the very least, she was removed from our immediate presence. 

Zack knows lots more nouns – potty, TV, trash…and some concepts such as sleepy; stinky; clean up and around and around (or as Zack says roundy round).  He says “pew pew” and wrinkles his nose if something smells bad.  He’s also very cognizant of what stuff belongs to who in the house – which doesn’t mean he’s learned the boundaries as far as what not to touch.  When I am folding laundry, he will tell you what articles of clothing belong to which member of the household.  He will point to things that he knows he is not supposed to touch and say “mama’s”…doesn’t mean he won’t touch them. 

Also…Zack will play by himself now and is not fixated on having one of us attached to his hip at all times.  He will play in his room while I am taking a shower and will watch TV or play with his downstairs toys while I’m in the kitchen or the dining room.  For short periods, anyway.  If we linger too long in another room, he will come and check things out.  This is a good thing…he’s secure enough to know that just because he doesn’t have eyes on us every moment does not mean we have left him. 

So that is a quick update on Zack’s language development and a couple of other tidbits.  We were in the hospital earlier this week – another story I haven’t written yet – and one of the med techs was carrying Zack’s Thomas the Tank Engine backpack for us as we went from the recovery unit up to orthopedics to have his cast put on and she said “oh, he probably doesn’t really understand who Thomas is, does he?”  Yes, Zack understands who Thomas is…and Elmo and Mickey.  He is doing just fine.  Cheers!

Almost forgot - cuteness of the day!  Enjoy!

Coco is eating...

This is the face I get when I ask Zack to show me his teeth...what a chees-er!

 

Jill

Zack’s First Halloween

Zack’s first trick-or-treat was a success.  As you can see from the photos, we did family-themed costumes.  By the time the big day rolled around, Zack could correctly identify a pumpkin and say the word…or something like it.  We visited a local pumpkin patch the Saturday before Halloween…we were not there very long – the weather was terrible.  We scored some pumpkins, had some fried doughnuts (and if you know me, you know this made me really happy) and got a balloon animal.  A quick outing but a good time. 

Halloween week, Zack helped me make some spooky cupcakes and he enjoyed the treats my mom sent.  We went to RAF Mildenhall for “Trunk or Treat”…which was about 30 cars in the parking lot of the Galaxy Club.  The cars were decorated up really nice and we saw some cool (if a little bit scary) costumes. 

This was short and sweet…we did not get much candy, but that’s OK.  We could have gone in to base housing, but for a 2-year old first-timer, I think we did all right.  He was willing to hold out his bucket and accept candy, but he was very wary of all of the scary costumes.  We made the mistake of letting him hold his bucket on the 20 minute drive home and he tore in to some of the chocolate with his teeth. 

It was fun dressing up like characters from the Wizard of Oz…but my dream of Cruella DeVille and some puppies is still alive…maybe next year.  Cheers...oh, and pictures are below. 

Jill

 A little pre-trick or treat carb loading...my boy loves his noodles.  Pay no mind to the fact that he looks slightly tipsy in this picutre. 

Helping with cupcakes in the cute bib from Grandmother!



 Scarecrow and Lion in line for Trunk or Treat...Zack is not sure what to think of all of this. 

 I don't get why she wants me to stand by this scary looking thing but I don't like it one bit!

 Pumpkin Patch with ominous looking sky behind...

 Lion and Dorothy

Practicing Trick or Treat

 

This is a funny video that another AP (adoptive parent, for those of you who might have been missing my acronyms) put up on her Facebook page.  This is a humorous but fairly accurate depiction of how people not familiar with international adoption might ask well meaning (but really annoying) questions. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFp61HAj-nk&feature=share

Gotcha Day Video

Here is our most-of-the-way finished Gotcha Day video.  I am proud to say that Lee did not do all of this - I did quite a bit using Windows Movie Maker.  We do plan to tweak the graphics a little bit and add some more video clips for a longer version, eventually, but here is a nice picture story of how Zack came to be a Tigers Fan a Robbins. Cheers,
Jill
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDhxNyo0jNE&feature=youtu.be

Hello U.S. Citizenship & Boo Delta Airlines

Our little man is now a citizen of the United States of America! When we completed his adoption in China (yes, it was really only last month, so hard to believe)we brought him to England on a Chinese passport with two 6-month visas – one for the U.S. and one for the U.K. Complicated?  Yes.  Doodlebug's citizenship status was in limbo until he made his first entry in to the United States. We presented the sealed package of paper we got at the consulate in China to the U.S. immigration officers and his certificate of citizenship is (hopefully) on the way. This combined with the Hague adoption certificate will substitute for his birth certificate, unless we decided to re-adopt him in our home state. But first, we would have to figure out what our home state is. If you're having trouble keeping up with what I just wrote, I ain't mad at ya.  It really is complicated. 

 

Most American families who adopt from China fly straight home to the U.S. (because that's where Americans usually live.  Duh.)  

 

We had the opportunity to travel briefly back to the states last week so we decided to take advantage and have Doodlebug make his U.S. premier.  This would get the process rolling to issue his Certificate of Citizenship which will make it possible for him to get a U.S. passport which will make it possible for him to get a resident visa to stay in the UK while we live here.  We have some business property in Illinois, plus, that is where Sissy lives.  We made the quick trip to take care of some beez and getting some sibling time was a bonus.

Looking back over the past 8 weeks, our little guy has been in 4 countries, 4 US states, 2 different provinces in China and in 6 different airports. Most 2 year olds are not this well traveled. I wish I could say he is an easy traveler, but he really is not. Eight hours is a long time to sit still, and being strapped in to a seat is really not his thing.

Our house is about a 2 hour drive from the airport so our trips always begin and end with a long car ride.  Not our favorite part of traveling.  I thought the trip was starting out great.  Doodlebug slept the entire way to the airport.  Things went south when we got to airport security - big shout out to London Heathrow Terminal 5.  
 

Doodlebug is semi-attached to one toy – his stuffed Panda named Coco. Yes, it might be cliché to give the Chinese kid a toy panda.  Whatever.  He likes it.  He was holding Coco as we went through security.  I should have been paying attention and put him through the scanner thing (Coco, not the kid). The very security conscious airport employee decided Coco looked shifty, grabbed him from Doodlebug's hand and threw him across to her buddy at the x-ray machine.  No warning.  No "I need to take that toy, little boy".  Naturally, this set off my sweet little boy's inner T-Rex, which I know is there.  Now everyone in Terminal 5 knew, too.  As the meltdown began, Hubs had the crappy luck to get a little extra attention from the security dudes.  I am all for security but the utter lack of anything resembling sense of urgency was unreal.  To say they took their sweet time poking through the bags would be the understatement of the DECADE.  

Hubs' bag was third in the queue.  The workers were moving at a speed that made molasses look fast. As they examined the bristles of his toothbrush with a practiced eye (I'm so not kidding), they laughed and socialized amongst themselves without a care in the world. Not like this is an airport or anything.  We were there almost an hour and what started out as "plenty of time" turned in to "$h#t we need to run for the gate" pretty darn fast.  

We got to the gate in the middle of boarding.  By this time, Doodlebug had decided he was over all of this.  Coco had been returned to him but he wasn't interested in her.  He did not want to be carried.  He did not want to walk.  He did not want to ride in his stroller. What he wanted to do was to lay on the floor, remove his shoes and scream "no way, no way" at the top of his little lungs.  We were over things too, at this point.  Did I mention that Doodlebug screamed at the top of his lungs the entire hour we waited in the security area while Hubs' tooth brush and phone charger were given the once over?  It was nearing 9AM and I needed a beer.  
 

We finally got on the plane, ignoring the horrified looks of the other passengers who had seen our walk of shame through the terminal with Mr. Meltdown. I am sure there were lots of "please don't let that kid be on my flight/next to me" prayers going up.

Once we boarded, Doodlebug settled down and decided I was back in his good graces.  He was content to settle down with a snack and some stickers.  

 

Give me a boost because I'm climbing on the soapbox.  Delta Airlines, you get my Thump on the Noggin Award for the week.  Because we have a ton of Delta miles, we won't have a ton of choice for some of our future air travel.  If not for those miles, me and Delta Airlines would be breaking up.  I would never want to fly Delta again after the experience we had on the London to Detroit flight. Before we took off, Hubs was summoned from his seat to go and speak to one of the flight attendants.  The way the conversation was recapped to me:

Flight Attendant: Sir, I have to ask - is that your kid?

Hubs:  Sure is, why?

Flight Attendant:  Well, he doesn't look like you and he's crying and saying "no".

Hubs:  Yes, he's mine.  He's two.  Have you ever seen a two year old before?

Flight Attendant:  Yes, but he doesn't look like you.  Are you sure you're his parents?

Hubs:  Pretty sure.  He was at our house this morning and called me daddy. 

Flight Attendant:  Well yes, but he doesn't look like you. 

Hubs:  Oh that.  He's adopted.  Would you like to see his paperwork? 

Flight Attendant:  No sir, not necessary.  Thank you. You can return to your seat.  Thanks for choosing Delta.   

I should be grateful people are paying attention and potentially looking out for a child in distress, right? Part of me feels this way. If Doodlebug or any child was in danger, I hope bystanders wouldn’t turn a blind eye to something that didn’t look right. However, accepting “yes, he’s  mine” at face value if there was cause for concern isn’t  comforting. 

Our paperwork was checked 4 times before we got on the plane. By security while in the Delta check-in line.  By the person at the Delta check-in counter.  By UK border control and finally, by the Delta gate agent.  I found the flight attendant’s “extra layer” intrusive and discriminatory. Does he question the parents of every small child in the throws of a tantrum?  I’m sure he has seen his share. Doodlebug doesn't resemble Hubs or I.  We get that.  He is clearly Asian and we are clearly not. But at what line does a Delta employee stop when he sees a child whose parents look “different” throwing a fit? I accept this flight attendant meant well and I give him props for using some discretion when he questioned Hubs. But bottom line, if he felt he had the duty to question us, didn't he have a responsibility to be more thorough?  Sure, he's my kid.  Okay, go back to your seat. 

 

Continuing on the "flight attendant blooper" train, we met a real prince of the skies once we were underway.  

Flight Attendant:  Excuse me, your son left a mess in a seat in the back of the aircraft.  

Back story: Doodlebug and I had sat down in an unoccupied seat for about five minutes.  We got the "go to your seat" announcement on one of our leg stretches throughout the cabin.  It was a non-event.  We sat for a minute and as soon as the captain gave the all-clear, we went back to our seats.  2+ hours later I had a loud, angry little man insisting that we'd left some sort of mess in the back of the plane because "another passenger said so".  Said flight attendant totally got the glazed "WTF look" from me.  

We danced the "yes you did/no I didn't" dance for about 5 rounds and mercifully, he left.  On one of our last round of Economy Comfort's beverage services, I ordered a glass of wine and a cup of apple juice.  Unfortunately, Loud, Short & Angry was the one taking our order.   

Flight Attendant:  Is that apple juice for that baby? 

Me:  Yes.  

Sure, I thought that one was a no-brainer.  But hey...we have Loud, Short & Angry...not really difficult to add slow.  

Loud, Short & Angry:  Apple juice causes kids to have runny poop.  Did you know this?  

Me:  Thank you.  Can I please have my drinks?  Apple juice and white wine (I was speaking really slowly at this point, just to make sure). 

Loud, Short & Angry:  Apple juice causes diarrhea! 

Me:  Thank you. Do you need me to repeat my beverage order?

Rinse & repeat and he caved.  I got my wine and Doodlebug got his juice, which he promptly spilled all over my shirt.  I tried to flag down Loud, Short & Angry to get a refill and he ignored me. 

Shout out to Doctor Flight attendant. Doodlebug was not sick and I’m sure I look like a seasoned parent. Not sure what the mess in the back of the plane looked like and how we got blamed but sheesh!  Can't a girl get a drink without a discussion on kid tummy troubles with the cabin crew?   

We landed in Detroit and after processing through immigration, our boy is now a citizen.  Shout out to gum smacking, eye rolling, big-haired immigration officer for making it happen.  And thank you for giving me the opportunity to explain "how we got a Chinese kid".  That sure was fun after coming off the flight from hell.  

We had a great 5 day visit to the Midwest.  We hung with Sissy (she and Doodlebug are peas & carrots)and got to see some of our other friends.  We took care of our business and had a little downtime. Enjoying some good ole American grub was easy on the taste buds, hard on the waistline.  It was not strictly a pleasure trip but we made it fun.   

 

Traveling with a 2 year old is tiring and challenging. Back on this side of the pond, we have a jet lagged 2 year old is not exactly a barrel of laughs.  It is difficult to reason 2 year old with limited English skills and explain why it is bedtime when his inner clock is ready to rock. All of that aside, I am thankful for my little man and all the opportunities we have to see the world. I would not trade my lot in life for anything and each day (yes, even during the jet lag, meltdowns and crappy Delta employees) I realize that I’m very fortunate.  

 STL to Atlanta Flight - Whee, I can play with the controls!

Party of 4, please.

 

I’ll close with a suggestion - if you are ever in the position to volunteer for the USO or make a donation, please consider it. Being in public service for 20+ years, I have traveled around a fair bit. Most of the places I go are not vacation spots and while I get reimbursement for travel, there are no business class upgrades or bottomless expense accounts. The USO has always been a comfortable place to hang out during a layover. There is always a cold drink, a warm smile a place to sit and rest that isn’t in the middle of a crowded terminal. The USO centers are funded mostly by donations and staffed with volunteers – usually veterans or their family members. Traveling with a small child for the first time in a long time made me doubly appreciative of the USO. There were toys for my wiggly little boy to play with and room to rest and roam around in a secure spot versus being in the middle of a crowded airport. So…if you ever feel compelled, donations of time or money to the USO are well appreciated by the folks who use their facilities. 

 

Doodlebug chilling out in the kid room at the USO in St Louis

Squatty Potties in China

When I got home from China, I was going to write a post on squatty potties and I just never did.  But, I took a picture of one…see?

There was a lot of discussion on squatty potties in the online adoption groups I am a part of – many of you reading this blog may have located it through one of those groups. 

Although I didn’t write a post on squatty potties (yeah, I know, technically this is one), someone else did.  In great detail, I might add.  And while this dude seriously exaggerates, he is entertaining.  Anyone who begins a sentence with the words “For the penised” is funny in my book.   

http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000348.html

Squatty potties were not as big of a deal for me as they were for some travelers.  I have traveled to Asia and the Middle East and they are not that much of a novelty as they are for some.  I lived in Korea in the mid nineties and these squatty potties were common at the local watering holes.  I had that whole balancing act thing down pat!  I credit the “moderate and responsible” amount of adult beverages I consumed with my awesome coordination on a squatty potty in 1995…at least my memory of said coordination.  And for those of you picturing me rocking some high-waist Guess jeans and some fluffy bangs?  Just keep wondering. 

Fast forward 17 years later and balancing wasn't quite so easy.  During my recent trip to China, I would consider the squatty potty encounter a huge success if I managed not to pee on my foot.  I echo the comments about lack of availability of soap and toilet paper.  That was hit or miss – carry your own.  A tip – go to the very end stall…about half the time, you’d luck out and find a western or “handicapped” toilet. 

I do have to take issue with the banterist's (love love love that name) description of the squatty potties sanitation situation.  The public toilets I encountered in China were on average no dirtier than public toilets in  anywhere else in the world.  I thought the “how can a country with such dirty bathrooms be a super power” was a little uncalled for.  It’s a different sort of experience, uncomfortable and not what we are used to, but I didn’t find sanitation in the bathrooms (or anywhere else) to be a huge issue in any of the cities I visited in China.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not touting the squatty potty bathrooms as palatial…I’m just saying my experiences were not quite to this level.  But, they were also not near as entertaining.  Cheers to you, Mr. Sack.  Thank you for inspiring what is hopefully my one and only post about toilets. 

One Month Home

Tried several times to get a photo with the foam letters on the tub (not in the water) and Z actually looking at the camera - gave up!!!

Today is the 9^th of October.  We met Zack on the 27^th of August and he has been at home here in England with us for just over one month.  He is doing really well.  He’s gained about 3 pounds – he came to us very healthy and well-nourished, but he does like his food.  He hasn’t grown in height yet, but his shoes we got him in GZ are getting tight.  He is a very healthy little boy.  He has survived the first round of doctor visits – four vials of blood (we are half done with that), 5 shots (catching up on immunizations), lots of poking and prodding, and X-Rays (which he thought were pretty fun).  Oh, and poop samples!!!  Zack didn’t have to do too much with that…but I sure had fun with those – not.  We are scheduled to see an orthopedic surgeon on Monday and a plastic surgeon in early November.  Obviously, we don’t expect a medical miracle – we know he won’t grow a hand – but we are hopeful that his right hand will enjoy some improved functioning and appearance.  He’s also been referred to early intervention for evaluation for speech therapy and PT/OT.  We’re going to see how that goes – we’re not having any problems in those areas, but we want him to have all the advantages we can provide.  I really like our pediatrician and he’s really been very thorough with Zack’s care so far.  Our experience with our military medical community with regard to our international adoption journey has not been overwhelmingly positive but I am hoping some education and persistence might improve things for the next person.  The lack of “savvy” about international adoption by some of the healthcare workers I’ve encountered was pretty sad…I had to go through the 20 questions with the appointment clerk when I wanted to make an appointed for Zack as soon as we got him home.  Thankfully, we brought home a little boy with no pressing health issues, but not everyone bringing a child out of institutional care is as lucky as we have been.  Once we actually got Zack in to the peds clinic, we were taken care of very well, but getting him in was not easy or timely and the medical support we received pre-adoption was…well, it wasn’t.  Hopefully, we are past the hard part. 

Getting his BP taken...he was very good

Zack’s receptive language is excellent.  He understands most of what we say, and for the most part, will do what we tell him to do (he is after all, two).  Simple directions such as “give this to daddy”; “put this in the laundry”; “go get your shoes” are normally followed.  He can point to about a dozen of his body parts when asked.  He still babbles in Chinese quite a bit…some things we are able to decipher or guess at, but some things we just plain don’t understand.  Since he has started nursery school, he is talking more and repeating more words we say to him.  He still pulls us around by the hand quite a bit and points to what he wants and he will touch his tongue when he is thirsty.  He will point to the floor after he’s eaten and say “big mess” or “messy”; say “yummy” if he likes something a lot; rub his tummy and make a motion with a spoon when you say “eat”; and he says “apple”; “banana”; and “no” quite clearly.  He calls Lee and I “Baba and Mama” (Baba is the Chinese word for Daddy).  He is starting to say “daddy” a little bit and he knows who I mean when I say daddy.  He refers to himself as “wa wa” or “wa wa baby” (wa wa being Chinese for baby).  He will point to pictures of family members and correctly identify everybody.  He sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star…kind of.  When I sing, it, he sings something and makes the hand motions I taught him.  He sings the “E-I-E-I-O” part of Old McDonald very clearly.  We are working on differentiating between the colors red and blue right now, and I have word cards that I use with him regularly. 

First day of nursery school...smiling for the camera (that I chased him in to the corner with)

He likes Henry – sadly, it is not mutual.  Every time my poor 12 year old cat comes in to Zack’s view, he runs at him and says “Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!”  He was referring to Henry as “Mao Mei” but he is starting to say something that kind of sounds like Henry…he does know who Henry is, though. 

He is doing very well with adjusting to new foods.  He still prefers Chinese food, but he will try most things at least once.  He is not a big fan of eggs, cheese, processed meats or any type of tomato sauce (pizza is a no-go).  He will eat small amounts of cooked chicken and really likes steak.  He has eaten every fruit and veggie that we’ve given him, with the exception of raspberries – probably too sour.  He particularly likes yogurt, pancakes and oatmeal.  He uses a spoon and fork very well and drinks out of a regular cup.  He is making progress with potty training.  He will normally use the potty if taken to the potty but will not give you any indication that he needs to go. 

Sleep was a struggle the first week – he had never slept in a room by himself.  With establishing a very firm bedtime routine, a fun turtle pillow that projects stars on the ceiling, and one very tearful evening, we are now to the point where we can kiss him goodnight and walk out of the room.  He will occasionally wake in the night and he will wander in to our room.  He is not a super sound sleeper and he is a big nap-fighter, but overall, sleep is not a huge issue like I’d feared it would be. 

Zack has adjusted well to nursery school and life in our neighborhood.  He is a very active and friendly little boy.  We kept him pretty close to home the first 2 weeks and didn’t really have many visitors, but he has done very well interacting with other people.  We are not of the “no one will touch my child for 3 months” school of thought.  We have a friendly and well-adjusted little boy who knows who his parents/caregivers are.  We are happy that Zack has more than 2 people in his life that love him. 

Playing outside - putting rocks in a box is great fun!

Getting underfoot - er, I mean helping mom in the kitchen!

This is the boy we met on August 27th, after he'd stopped crying and appeared semi-comfortable with us (or at least resigned to having us take care of him).  I was so happy at the time that he'd stopped screaming, but check out the look of suspicion.  Big changes for this little man over the past 6 weeks!

 

He is a great kid and I enjoy sharing our story. 

 

The Last Leg of Our China Trip - Guangzhou

Guangzhou or, GZ as I will refer to it is the third largest city in mainland China.  The second is Shanghai.  If you have to ask what the first is…stop reading my blog and go study up on your world geography.  In all seriousness, I had never heard of GZ until we took steps to adopt Zack.  There is a U.S. Consulate there that handles all American adoptions.  All U.S. citizens adopting a Chinese child have to attend an appointment at the consulate to finalize their child’s immigration paperwork.  This appointment is what all other in-China travel is scheduled off of. 

Our Wasatch guides, Judy and John were AMAZING.  They had 6 different families the week we were there staying in 3 different hotels.  They took such good care of all of us – and I have no idea how they did it.  They really went above and beyond to help us and although we gave them some nice trinkets and what they hopefully think are good tips – the service they gave us that week was pretty well priceless. 

We stayed at the Holiday Inn Shifu - great hotel in a great location.  There was a lot of “Shifu versus Garden” chatter in our DTC FB group and I’m very glad we chose the Shifu.  The hotel is nice and the staff was very accommodating.  Most everyone we encountered spoke passable English.  We stayed on the “executive/club level”, which I recommend doing.  I’m not sure how our room compared to the “regular rooms, but we had a ton of room – large bathroom with separate shower/tub, two couches and a desk.  We considered upgrading to a suite, but when we saw the room size, we decided not.  We had a very nice king bed, there were several English channels (HBO, Nat’l Geographic, BBC, CNN) and some of the Chinese channels were in English with Chinese subtitles if the original programming was English speaking (you are in luck if you need to catch up on your Desperate Housewives).  There is a very nice selection of toiletries provided and the towels and robes were great.  There were also slippers, but we did not use them.  My son played with them…he seemed to think they were OK.  There were also the standard 2 bottles of drinking water per day.  The breakfast buffet was great – very extensive.  If you can’t find what you like to eat for breakfast on this buffet, you seriously need to branch out and diversify.  Most important, they had my new favorite, BBQ pork steamed buns.  Yumm-O.  The hours were very reasonable, also…they served until 10:00 AM and I think they started at 6:30…not sure on that one.  The earliest we ate was 6:50 one day.  The pool is nice, although there is no children’s pool.  The entire pool is the same depth and very shallow.  No swimming caps are required and they provide nice pool towels.  There are also water toys and floaties for rent – not sure for how much.  There is a poolside bar/conversation area that looks nice but never was open when we went, and there is a very nice workout room, which we did not use. 

 Because sometimes, it is just necessary to see your family in the bathroom?

The club level included a daily fruit basket in room and access to the executive lounge.  The lounge is accessible all day and always has fresh fruit and a variety of small snacks available (cookies, nuts, cheese/bread, etc) as well as bottled water, canned sodas and coffee/tea.  We spent almost no money on drinks…we would just grab drinks from the lounge before we went somewhere and away we went.  The lounge had breakfast service also, but we never ate up there, since the buffet downstairs had so much variety.  “Happy Hour” was every evening from 5:30 – 7:30.  They had a variety of hot and cold food out each evening.  There were usually 2-3 very substantial Western dishes out each day, along with a couple of Chinese things.  Additionally, there was always fruit, cookies, deserts, and sometimes sushi.  They also had beer and wine as well as quite a few liquors and mixers.  All of the booze was self-service.  They do take all of the heavy food and alcohol out at 7:30 but the hostess goes around and asks if we want anything else.  We never tried to take alcohol out of the lounge, but I think you could probably get away with it.  We made a meal of the buffet most nights we were in GZ.  There is enough variety and the food was good.  There are tables to sit at and some couch conversation areas, along with a larger TV than what is in the room and a selection of magazines/newspapers in English.  It was very nice, although I’m not sure all of the other patrons were really digging all of the families adopting in there.  I can totally see myself saying “why would someone bring little kids in here” if we didn’t bring our son in.  Oh well…the lounge and the freebies totally made the club level worth the extra bit of money – and it really was not an expensive room at all.  I will add that the executive level rooms at the Shifu were about $30 per night cheaper than the regular rooms at the Garden. 

The location is awesome – it is about a 10 minute walk to Shamian Island.  I know everyone says the island is dead, but I have nothing to compare it to, and thought it was great.  The walk is through the Chinese market street, where they are selling some really interesting stuff.  We bought some saffron there (great prices on that BTW) and a few knickknack things.  If you walk the other way from the hotel, you are in a shopping district where you can find just about whatever you want.  There is a multi-level department store that sells a lot of baby and personal items and a lot of restaurants.  There are a McDonalds and a KFC in the area and there may have been a Pizza Hut – not sure.  We really tried not to eat American food in China, so I did not pay attention to these types of places.  The Shifu is also a quick walk to the pearl market.  We ate at three different Chinese restaurants while we were there and they were all very good.  All of them had picture menus and it was pretty easy to order rice noodles with meat, fried rice with meat, steamed buns and dumplings – all of which I could honestly eat 3 times a day forever and be happy with.  We also ate at a place Ann from Red Thread China took us to while shopping – it was on the 7^th floor of one of the malls and I’d honestly never be able to find it again if I had to.  It was crowded with locals at lunch and it was amazing.  Really delicious BBQ pork steamed buns with a honey glaze.  All of the food in GZ is CHEAP!  There is a 7-Eleven nearby the Shifu (one on the island, too) but I did not go in either.  There is a convenience store across from the front door of the Shifu that we bought snacks at, also cheap.  There was a spa and a mani/pedi place nearby that looked OK…but I did not try either. 

 Badminton in the square!

 I really was not trying to get down and funky with the guy in the blue shirt. Swear. 

 There were pets of all kinds for sale everywhere.  The vendors did not seem to dig us looking/taking pictures...probably because they knew we would not buy fish or turtles. 

 Lee seems to really like pushing the stroller. 

 If  you look closely, you will see that there is actually a guy and a bike underneath all of these parcels and bags!!  Crazy!!

 For those who like to buy their seahorses in bulk, here ya go. 

 Skinny model girl...definitely doesn't need the double strand of pearls!

 Yes...this kid is totally sticking his tongue out at me. 

 Army guys...they are looking at me taking the picture...I thought I was being sneakier than this...

 And it is a photo shoot for coats.  I could hardly look at coats.  It was HOT! 

 Shopping at Jenny's place.  She is a very sweet lady.  

Yes...I totally have buyers remorse...why did I not buy this?

We went over to the area where the Garden was a couple of times.  There are more high end stores there - if you want to stock up on Fendi or Gucci in GZ, you can – and more non-Chinese food choices.  We ate at the Mexican place Tekila’s one night (surprisingly good) and also at a Dim Sum Tea House that our guide showed us another night.  Best food in China, that one.  I’d never have gone in...it was a really nice place but the signs out front were advertising some pretty weird sounding stuff.  We had rice and two different kinds of Dim Sum and it was amazing.  I really think our guide John was disappointed that we never ate a chicken foot.  We are adventurous…I think if one had showed up in my bowl, I might have had to try it to be polite, but I don’t think I’d go out of my way to try it.  We did go in to the Garden to look around and we had something to drink in the lobby.  It is very (very, very, very) elegant.  I am not sure what the rooms are like, although I have heard nothing but good feedback from others who have stayed there, but the lobby was super posh. 

I think the Garden is probably a more high-end hotel.  For this trip, we really did not need high end and the combination of the club level lounge and proximity to the shopping were the deciding factors. 

Stuff to do:

Shop!!  If you plan to do any more than just pick up a couple of souvenirs, I strongly recommend you hire a shopping guide.  The two that I know are Ann and Jordon.  I have contact info for each, and I’m sure there are probably others.  Basically, you pay the guide an hourly rate to take you around Guangzhou and negotiate with the vendors (who probably don’t speak English) to get the best price for the items you want.  We used Ann – she was $10 an hour and worth it.  We “split” her with another family and all went together.  I would not suggest any more than 2 families or 4 adults.  Everyone has their own “shopping agenda” and too many people in the mix would probably make things confusing.  Two families was just right and fun.  Be warned – Ann moves FAST and does not mess around.  If you are not quick on your feet, you probably want to re-think using her, or tell her at the onset not to sprint.  We loved her.  I think she helped us get the best deals on the best stuff and she was very nice and a lot of fun.  She really did make me laugh when we were pearl shopping.  She was telling my friend and I that a lot of women were buying the double strand pearl necklaces.  She looked as us for a minute and told us we did not need to wear the double strands because we were not fat.  Not sure if the healthier gals look better in the double strands or if the double strand was somehow slimming.  It did not make sense to me but it was funny to me.  Thanks Ann…sometimes I have those days where I feel a little chunky…I will remember you on those days.  She also took us to lunch, and did not charge us for the hour we spent at lunch (we paid for her lunch, of course).  She took us to a great place and I think our food came to about $30 for 5 adults and two babies.  We bought some pearls, quite a lot of jade (some necklaces and some figurines), a tea set, some mahjong tiles, and some traditional Chinese clothing for Zack. 

Someone was not super impressed with the shopping activities.  Typical guy. 

 The pearls are not completely put together until you purchase them. 

Ann in action. 

We also did some shopping on Shamian Island…we bought some squeaky shoes and a few souvenir types of things”…the “chops” (stamps with a child’s name in English and Chinese with their Chinese zodiac sign) and a few odds and ends to give Zack on the anniversary of his adoption when he is a little older.  Shamian Island makes a nice day out – it is quieter there and there are some very beautiful gardens and interesting sculpture.  We saw a lot of different activity that we didn’t see in other parts of China – a lot of photo shoots (both wedding portrait and fashion photography); some soldiers from the People’s Army practicing their combatives; and some school children.  We ate at the pizza place on the island and at the Thai restaurant (Cow and Bridge).  Both had decent food and service. 

Safari Park –

We opted not to go with the group from our agency (we had pre-booked our shopping session with Ann for the same time everyone else went) but we did go on our own.  The park was really nice and it is worth a trip.  I think the tickets were about $15 to get in…honestly, the exchange rate confused the hell out of me the entire time we were in China.  I was freaking out over the price of a cab ride and was making poor Lee haggle and then I realized we were talking about 18 U.S. dollars for a 40 minute trip.  Oops.  Anyhoo, the park…there was a drive-through safari tram that took you through a park with all kinds of animals that you could see really well.  The zookeepers would feed the animals as the trams came through, so we got a good look at all of the animals.  There was a walkthrough “Jurassic Forest” that had some fake roaring dinosaurs…it was kind of lame and the mechanical T-Rex freaked Zack out.  He didn’t cry but he held on really tight and would intentionally look the other way.  We got to see both Koalas and Pandas up close…very cool, and we got to feed some giraffes.  There were some other parts of the safari park that we didn’t see…I believe we stayed there for about 4 hours and that was enough.  We did have some difficulty getting there, though.  The bellhop at our hotel told the cab driver to take us to the Safari Park (allegedly) and he ended up taking us to the wrong place, which was about 20 minutes out of our way.  We ended up getting another cab.  Thankfully, cabs are very cheap in China. 

Pearl River Cruise-

We took a boat ride along the Pearl River at night…all of the city is lit up and it’s very pretty.  The entire excursion lasted about 2 hours.  It was a pleasant way to spend an evening and Zack really enjoyed it.  I know that some take the “dinner cruise” but we did not.  There was supposed to be some entertainment, but we got caught in a thunderstorm and the entertainment (a girl playing some type of stringed instrument) played inside where hardly anyone could hear her. 

We wanted to get to 6 Banyan Temple, but we weren’t able to get there.  Maybe next trip ; )

All in all, most everyone likes GZ pretty well.  It’s a nice place to be, particularly if you didn’t have a great experience in your province or if you’re getting “China’d out”.  There are more people who speak English, more familiar signs and more familiar food, which is sometimes important.  The weather in August was HOT…I think the climate is pretty mild year round. 

 This is right down the street from the HI Shifu...this is a very busy area.  Near this koi pond is a place where you can get a taxi. 

This is the breakfast buffet at the HI Shifu.  I like someone to make my omelets for me but I did miss making breakfast in my own kitchen, too.  There is a lot to be said for eating in your PJs...which I did not do here.  I promise. 

 Happy boy at the Safari Park.  I have Lee wear this shirt so I don't lose him!

 We are not exactly sure about this giant animals that want to shake hands with us...

 It might be OK to spit out chewing gum if you just don't do it all over the place?  I was not clear on this so I kept my gum in my mouth, just to be safe. 

This is freaking creepy.  I don't care what anyone says.  I would not sit on this bench. 

This guy was very interested in us.  Zack was ready to get out and go give him a hug.  He has no fear of any animal...but some animals (especially our cat) fear him. 

 Zack looking out at the Pearl River.  He thought this whole excursion was very cool. 

Our GZ guide, John.  He is amazing.  He got to come inside the UK consulate with us for about 2.5 minutes and for him, this was very exciting. 

Canton Tower...the world's second tallest TV tower.  It sure has got to be the prettiest!

One other thing I wanted to add, mostly for the benefit of those traveling in the future to adopt:  people make a BIG DEAL out of the consulate appointment.  I see threads and threads of discussions on what to dress the new U.S. citizens in as their parents take the oath of citizenship on their behalf.  Traditionally, most families dress their kids in red, white and blue and/or something patriotic.  We did this, too, although there was not a lot of thought or discussion on Zack’s outfit de jour.  The consulate appointment is about as ceremonial as getting your driver’s license renewed or checking in at a medical appointment.  Seriously.  You go through a ton of security (we had to fess up Zack’s Little Tikes play cell phone (yes, really) and then you are in this dark, crowded room (typical government office) with a ton of other parents chasing after their kids.  There are some toys to play with, thankfully.  Some lady comes on the PA and makes a general announcement and asks everyone to raise their right hand and all of the parents take “the oath” which is basically just affirming that your paperwork is correct.  It is not really a very emotional moment…I had one hand up and the other hand on Zack’s shirt collar because he was trying to take a toy away from another child.  Lee was somewhere across the room squished against the wall.  There is a sign out front where everyone gets their pictures taken, but it is just not an exciting and ceremonial moment, like it is made out to be.  And if I had a do-over or if we ever repeat…I would probably still choose to dress my child in red, white and blue…and there probably definitely would not be a lot of discussion on outfits.