Our little man is now a citizen of the United States of America! When we completed his adoption in China (yes, it was really only last month, so hard to believe)we brought him to England on a Chinese passport with two 6-month visas – one for the U.S. and one for the U.K. Complicated? Yes. Doodlebug's citizenship status was in limbo until he made his first entry in to the United States. We presented the sealed package of paper we got at the consulate in China to the U.S. immigration officers and his certificate of citizenship is (hopefully) on the way. This combined with the Hague adoption certificate will substitute for his birth certificate, unless we decided to re-adopt him in our home state. But first, we would have to figure out what our home state is. If you're having trouble keeping up with what I just wrote, I ain't mad at ya. It really is complicated. 
Most American families who adopt from China fly straight home to the U.S. (because that's where Americans usually live. Duh.) 
We had the opportunity to travel briefly back to the states last week so we decided to take advantage and have Doodlebug make his U.S. premier. This would get the process rolling to issue his Certificate of Citizenship which will make it possible for him to get a U.S. passport which will make it possible for him to get a resident visa to stay in the UK while we live here. We have some business property in Illinois, plus, that is where Sissy lives. We made the quick trip to take care of some beez and getting some sibling time was a bonus. Looking back over the past 8 weeks, our little guy has been in 4 countries, 4 US states, 2 different provinces in China and in 6 different airports. Most 2 year olds are not this well traveled. I wish I could say he is an easy traveler, but he really is not. Eight hours is a long time to sit still, and being strapped in to a seat is really not his thing.
Our house is about a 2 hour drive from the airport so our trips always begin and end with a long car ride. Not our favorite part of traveling. I thought the trip was starting out great. Doodlebug slept the entire way to the airport. Things went south when we got to airport security - big shout out to London Heathrow Terminal 5.
Doodlebug is semi-attached to one toy – his stuffed Panda named Coco. Yes, it might be cliché to give the Chinese kid a toy panda. Whatever. He likes it. He was holding Coco as we went through security. I should have been paying attention and put him through the scanner thing (Coco, not the kid). The very security conscious airport employee decided Coco looked shifty, grabbed him from Doodlebug's hand and threw him across to her buddy at the x-ray machine. No warning. No "I need to take that toy, little boy". Naturally, this set off my sweet little boy's inner T-Rex, which I know is there. Now everyone in Terminal 5 knew, too. As the meltdown began, Hubs had the crappy luck to get a little extra attention from the security dudes. I am all for security but the utter lack of anything resembling sense of urgency was unreal. To say they took their sweet time poking through the bags would be the understatement of the DECADE.
Hubs' bag was third in the queue. The workers were moving at a speed that made molasses look fast. As they examined the bristles of his toothbrush with a practiced eye (I'm so not kidding), they laughed and socialized amongst themselves without a care in the world. Not like this is an airport or anything. We were there almost an hour and what started out as "plenty of time" turned in to "$h#t we need to run for the gate" pretty darn fast.
We got to the gate in the middle of boarding. By this time, Doodlebug had decided he was over all of this. Coco had been returned to him but he wasn't interested in her. He did not want to be carried. He did not want to walk. He did not want to ride in his stroller. What he wanted to do was to lay on the floor, remove his shoes and scream "no way, no way" at the top of his little lungs. We were over things too, at this point. Did I mention that Doodlebug screamed at the top of his lungs the entire hour we waited in the security area while Hubs' tooth brush and phone charger were given the once over? It was nearing 9AM and I needed a beer.
Hubs' bag was third in the queue. The workers were moving at a speed that made molasses look fast. As they examined the bristles of his toothbrush with a practiced eye (I'm so not kidding), they laughed and socialized amongst themselves without a care in the world. Not like this is an airport or anything. We were there almost an hour and what started out as "plenty of time" turned in to "$h#t we need to run for the gate" pretty darn fast.
We got to the gate in the middle of boarding. By this time, Doodlebug had decided he was over all of this. Coco had been returned to him but he wasn't interested in her. He did not want to be carried. He did not want to walk. He did not want to ride in his stroller. What he wanted to do was to lay on the floor, remove his shoes and scream "no way, no way" at the top of his little lungs. We were over things too, at this point. Did I mention that Doodlebug screamed at the top of his lungs the entire hour we waited in the security area while Hubs' tooth brush and phone charger were given the once over? It was nearing 9AM and I needed a beer.
We finally got on the plane, ignoring the horrified looks of the other passengers who had seen our walk of shame through the terminal with Mr. Meltdown. I am sure there were lots of "please don't let that kid be on my flight/next to me" prayers going up.Once we boarded, Doodlebug settled down and decided I was back in his good graces. He was content to settle down with a snack and some stickers.
Give me a boost because I'm climbing on the soapbox. Delta Airlines, you get my Thump on the Noggin Award for the week. Because we have a ton of Delta miles, we won't have a ton of choice for some of our future air travel. If not for those miles, me and Delta Airlines would be breaking up. I would never want to fly Delta again after the experience we had on the London to Detroit flight. Before we took off, Hubs was summoned from his seat to go and speak to one of the flight attendants. The way the conversation was recapped to me:Flight Attendant: Sir, I have to ask - is that your kid?
Hubs: Sure is, why?
Flight Attendant: Well, he doesn't look like you and he's crying and saying "no".
Hubs: Yes, he's mine. He's two. Have you ever seen a two year old before?
Flight Attendant: Yes, but he doesn't look like you. Are you sure you're his parents?
Hubs: Pretty sure. He was at our house this morning and called me daddy.
Flight Attendant: Well yes, but he doesn't look like you.
Hubs: Oh that. He's adopted. Would you like to see his paperwork?
Flight Attendant: No sir, not necessary. Thank you. You can return to your seat. Thanks for choosing Delta.
I should be grateful people are paying attention and potentially looking out for a child in distress, right? Part of me feels this way. If Doodlebug or any child was in danger, I hope bystanders wouldn’t turn a blind eye to something that didn’t look right. However, accepting “yes, he’s mine” at face value if there was cause for concern isn’t comforting.
Our paperwork was checked 4 times before we got on the plane. By security while in the Delta check-in line. By the person at the Delta check-in counter. By UK border control and finally, by the Delta gate agent. I found the flight attendant’s “extra layer” intrusive and discriminatory. Does he question the parents of every small child in the throws of a tantrum? I’m sure he has seen his share. Doodlebug doesn't resemble Hubs or I. We get that. He is clearly Asian and we are clearly not. But at what line does a Delta employee stop when he sees a child whose parents look “different” throwing a fit? I accept this flight attendant meant well and I give him props for using some discretion when he questioned Hubs. But bottom line, if he felt he had the duty to question us, didn't he have a responsibility to be more thorough? Sure, he's my kid. Okay, go back to your seat.
Our paperwork was checked 4 times before we got on the plane. By security while in the Delta check-in line. By the person at the Delta check-in counter. By UK border control and finally, by the Delta gate agent. I found the flight attendant’s “extra layer” intrusive and discriminatory. Does he question the parents of every small child in the throws of a tantrum? I’m sure he has seen his share. Doodlebug doesn't resemble Hubs or I. We get that. He is clearly Asian and we are clearly not. But at what line does a Delta employee stop when he sees a child whose parents look “different” throwing a fit? I accept this flight attendant meant well and I give him props for using some discretion when he questioned Hubs. But bottom line, if he felt he had the duty to question us, didn't he have a responsibility to be more thorough? Sure, he's my kid. Okay, go back to your seat.
Continuing on the "flight attendant blooper" train, we met a real prince of the skies once we were underway.
Flight Attendant: Excuse me, your son left a mess in a seat in the back of the aircraft.
Back story: Doodlebug and I had sat down in an unoccupied seat for about five minutes. We got the "go to your seat" announcement on one of our leg stretches throughout the cabin. It was a non-event. We sat for a minute and as soon as the captain gave the all-clear, we went back to our seats. 2+ hours later I had a loud, angry little man insisting that we'd left some sort of mess in the back of the plane because "another passenger said so". Said flight attendant totally got the glazed "WTF look" from me.
We danced the "yes you did/no I didn't" dance for about 5 rounds and mercifully, he left. On one of our last round of Economy Comfort's beverage services, I ordered a glass of wine and a cup of apple juice. Unfortunately, Loud, Short & Angry was the one taking our order.
Flight Attendant: Is that apple juice for that baby?
Me: Yes.
Sure, I thought that one was a no-brainer. But hey...we have Loud, Short & Angry...not really difficult to add slow.
Loud, Short & Angry: Apple juice causes kids to have runny poop. Did you know this?
Me: Thank you. Can I please have my drinks? Apple juice and white wine (I was speaking really slowly at this point, just to make sure).
Loud, Short & Angry: Apple juice causes diarrhea!
Me: Thank you. Do you need me to repeat my beverage order?
Rinse & repeat and he caved. I got my wine and Doodlebug got his juice, which he promptly spilled all over my shirt. I tried to flag down Loud, Short & Angry to get a refill and he ignored me.
Shout out to Doctor Flight attendant. Doodlebug was not sick and I’m sure I look like a seasoned parent. Not sure what the mess in the back of the plane looked like and how we got blamed but sheesh! Can't a girl get a drink without a discussion on kid tummy troubles with the cabin crew?
Flight Attendant: Excuse me, your son left a mess in a seat in the back of the aircraft.
Back story: Doodlebug and I had sat down in an unoccupied seat for about five minutes. We got the "go to your seat" announcement on one of our leg stretches throughout the cabin. It was a non-event. We sat for a minute and as soon as the captain gave the all-clear, we went back to our seats. 2+ hours later I had a loud, angry little man insisting that we'd left some sort of mess in the back of the plane because "another passenger said so". Said flight attendant totally got the glazed "WTF look" from me.
We danced the "yes you did/no I didn't" dance for about 5 rounds and mercifully, he left. On one of our last round of Economy Comfort's beverage services, I ordered a glass of wine and a cup of apple juice. Unfortunately, Loud, Short & Angry was the one taking our order.
Flight Attendant: Is that apple juice for that baby?
Me: Yes.
Sure, I thought that one was a no-brainer. But hey...we have Loud, Short & Angry...not really difficult to add slow.
Loud, Short & Angry: Apple juice causes kids to have runny poop. Did you know this?
Me: Thank you. Can I please have my drinks? Apple juice and white wine (I was speaking really slowly at this point, just to make sure).
Loud, Short & Angry: Apple juice causes diarrhea!
Me: Thank you. Do you need me to repeat my beverage order?
Rinse & repeat and he caved. I got my wine and Doodlebug got his juice, which he promptly spilled all over my shirt. I tried to flag down Loud, Short & Angry to get a refill and he ignored me.
Shout out to Doctor Flight attendant. Doodlebug was not sick and I’m sure I look like a seasoned parent. Not sure what the mess in the back of the plane looked like and how we got blamed but sheesh! Can't a girl get a drink without a discussion on kid tummy troubles with the cabin crew?
We landed in Detroit and after processing through immigration, our boy is now a citizen. Shout out to gum smacking, eye rolling, big-haired immigration officer for making it happen. And thank you for giving me the opportunity to explain "how we got a Chinese kid". That sure was fun after coming off the flight from hell.
We had a great 5 day visit to the Midwest. We hung with Sissy (she and Doodlebug are peas & carrots)and got to see some of our other friends. We took care of our business and had a little downtime. Enjoying some good ole American grub was easy on the taste buds, hard on the waistline. It was not strictly a pleasure trip but we made it fun.
Traveling with a 2 year old is tiring and challenging. Back on this side of the pond, we have a jet lagged 2 year old is not exactly a barrel of laughs. It is difficult to reason 2 year old with limited English skills and explain why it is bedtime when his inner clock is ready to rock. All of that aside, I am thankful for my little man and all the opportunities we have to see the world. I would not trade my lot in life for anything and each day (yes, even during the jet lag, meltdowns and crappy Delta employees) I realize that I’m very fortunate.
STL to Atlanta Flight - Whee, I can play with the controls!
Party of 4, please.
I’ll close with a suggestion - if you are ever in the position to volunteer for the USO or make a donation, please consider it. Being in public service for 20+ years, I have traveled around a fair bit. Most of the places I go are not vacation spots and while I get reimbursement for travel, there are no business class upgrades or bottomless expense accounts. The USO has always been a comfortable place to hang out during a layover. There is always a cold drink, a warm smile a place to sit and rest that isn’t in the middle of a crowded terminal. The USO centers are funded mostly by donations and staffed with volunteers – usually veterans or their family members. Traveling with a small child for the first time in a long time made me doubly appreciative of the USO. There were toys for my wiggly little boy to play with and room to rest and roam around in a secure spot versus being in the middle of a crowded airport. So…if you ever feel compelled, donations of time or money to the USO are well appreciated by the folks who use their facilities.
Doodlebug chilling out in the kid room at the USO in St Louis
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