Waiting on the NVC - Now what the heck does that mean, Jill???

Someone recently asked me “is it hard to adopt”?  This was a casual question asked by a couple we met while on vacation.  Polite conversation turned to our upcoming adoption.  After the initial “why China/you’re so noble/the child is so lucky” comments, the woman asked me “is it hard to adopt”?  I can’t remember just how I answered, but the question has weighed on my mind since it was asked. 

We’re to the point in this 1+ year-long process where we can see light at the end of the tunnel.  As I sit here and type this, we’re waiting on the National Visa Center to complete their processing of our final adoption paperwork on the U.S. side so we can get in line for the big T to the A…Travel Approval.  This is the “magic document” that triggers all of the dates, appointments and arrangements that will bring us face-to-face with this child that we've waited so long for.  Not too much longer…probably about another 6 weeks. 

So.  Considering we’re near the end, I again consider the “is it hard” question.  That is a hard question to answer.  It has definitely been an exercise in patience.  I am not a patient person.  I want everything to happen exactly when I want it to happen, which is usually right now…sometimes even yesterday.  The last year has been one of endless paper chasing, form filling outing, and waiting.  We track down documents, fill out forms, and wait.  Once we’ve reached a milestone, we fill out another form and wait again.  There is precious little about this process I’ve had control over.  So the waiting and the lack of control – yeah, that has been hard.  For a more chillaxed, go with the flow kind of person…maybe not so much. 

But really, what is so hard about this process?  Is filling out a form that hard?  Has waiting really been that hard?  It hasn’t been pleasant, but while we’ve waited, we have lived life.  Good things have happened.  While I wish Doodlebug could have been part of our lives for the past 14 months, I can honestly look back on the wait and say we haven’t wasted it being miserable because we’re waiting.  We’ve taken advantage of our time without a little one in the house and done some things that won’t be feasible with a toddler in the home. 

Our wait has also brought connections with many other parents in the same boat as us.  These connections have been a blessing and a lifeline, and although I am excited beyond words to meet my son in a few weeks, the thought of connecting with a few of the moms on our adoption timeline that I correspond with every day and share my thoughts with is also pretty awesome and exciting. 

Our wait has also brought frustration in the really stupid things that people say in response to our decision to adopt from China at this point in our lives.  I recently posted on some comments and questions that we get in response to our choice, but the list continues to grow.  A couple of people have suggested that I “pick up an extra” for them while I’m in China.  Um…I’m not going to the corner store for a loaf of bread?  And for those who have asked if I’m trying to be like Angelina or Madonna?  Really?  Um….sure, minus the acting/singing talent and the gazillions of dollars.  Maybe there will come a time when I will have just heard everything and develop a tolerance for these kinds of comments, but I’m not there yet. 

So back to the question, is it hard to adopt?  I say it is not hard but it is also not easy.  It’s not for the faint of heart.  It is an exercise in tolerance and patience.  People expend their time and energy on things that are important.  And for us, this is important. 

My musings are my musings.  It’s a snapshot of my perspective at one moment in time.  We’re almost done and I’m weary…but I’m really excited.

P.S.  The pictures I've added just for fun are:  1 from our recent cruise of the Western Med and 1 from our weekend in Cardiff, where we ran in to a lovely family we know at the train station.