AND THE PRIZE FOR MOST OFTEN ASKED ADOPTION QUESTION GOES TO:

”How much longer”?

I have decided that we are traveling on August 23, so that is what I have started telling everyone.  I just need the paperwork to fall in line with this, and honestly, at this point, expectation of going wheels up on this date isn’t unreasonable.  Right now, we are waiting on the U.S. to complete their processing of Doodlebug’s visa to enter the United States.  Once the State Department says “China, we’re done”, that tells China that they can issue the “Family, come visit our country and make sure you exit with this particular child” paperwork.  That is an overly simplified version, but that is what is going on.  Our “Article 5” – this is what the visa paperwork is called (do not ask me why)is picked up, then we get in line for the “Travel Approval” wait.  Our Art 5 will be picked up on 18 July, this we know for sure.  TA takes up to 3 weeks, although most families are getting theirs a little quicker right now.  Once we get TA, our adoption agency will secure for us a CA – consulate appointment.  This is the appointment we have with the U.S. authorities in Guangzhou (gwan/joe) China at the end of our adoption trip and this is what triggers all other travel arrangements.  Clear as mud?  I thought so.  So, lots of moving parts, but things are fairly predictable from this point on. 

I don’t mind answering the “how long” question, but the answer is long!!!  And hard to understand!  It makes perfect sense to me…I could recite the entire IA process to you in my sleep, but hey…I am a pro at this now. 

Doodlebug has officially entered the terrible two’s now.  I had really hoped we’d have him home for his birthday, so we could have at least been a small part of his “one year old years”.  He was 17 months old when we received our PA – AKA green light from China to adopt.  The referral pictures we saw were of Doodlebug at about one year or so.  It has been a blessing and a curse to watch our boy grow up in pictures and we are very excited to be the ones taking the pictures very soon!  And we will be!  We received our travel visas today...not to be confused with his  visa to enter the U.S. (see above).

I've also attached some pictures of Doodlebug's "birthday party".  He is thriving and growing.  We are not sure whether or not he has been moved back to the orphanage or not.  Most of the children in Shanxi province are in foster homes/group homes.  They are transitioned back to the orphanage about a month prior to the adoption in order to ease their transition to their new family.  We are not able to tell what the deal is from the pictures...but he is healthy and seems relatively happy.  The report says he's not receiving any special care for his "disability" but his hand appears to be growing with the rest of his body, which is good.  He is described as "sometimes obstinate" and he seems to have a sweet tooth.  His caretakers say his favorite foods are fruit and sweets.  He cries when he is sleepy and when he is cranky, his caretaker cuddles with him or takes him outside.  He should fit in well around here. 

               Hello Birthday Boy!

         I wonder what he thinks about all of this?

      The other kids look so excited for the treat!

King of Cake

                                                      

                                                          Every time they send us pictures, they make him hold out his little hand for inspection.  Ugh. 

Enough with the picture taking, ladies. 

                                                         

So…how long?  Not much longer.  Trust me…if you’re anywhere near my friends list, share my DNA or family tree or in my zip code…you will know when I know something more.  But thank you for asking about Doodlebug…it really does mean the world that people are interested and happy for us.

Waiting on the NVC - Now what the heck does that mean, Jill???

Someone recently asked me “is it hard to adopt”?  This was a casual question asked by a couple we met while on vacation.  Polite conversation turned to our upcoming adoption.  After the initial “why China/you’re so noble/the child is so lucky” comments, the woman asked me “is it hard to adopt”?  I can’t remember just how I answered, but the question has weighed on my mind since it was asked. 

We’re to the point in this 1+ year-long process where we can see light at the end of the tunnel.  As I sit here and type this, we’re waiting on the National Visa Center to complete their processing of our final adoption paperwork on the U.S. side so we can get in line for the big T to the A…Travel Approval.  This is the “magic document” that triggers all of the dates, appointments and arrangements that will bring us face-to-face with this child that we've waited so long for.  Not too much longer…probably about another 6 weeks. 

So.  Considering we’re near the end, I again consider the “is it hard” question.  That is a hard question to answer.  It has definitely been an exercise in patience.  I am not a patient person.  I want everything to happen exactly when I want it to happen, which is usually right now…sometimes even yesterday.  The last year has been one of endless paper chasing, form filling outing, and waiting.  We track down documents, fill out forms, and wait.  Once we’ve reached a milestone, we fill out another form and wait again.  There is precious little about this process I’ve had control over.  So the waiting and the lack of control – yeah, that has been hard.  For a more chillaxed, go with the flow kind of person…maybe not so much. 

But really, what is so hard about this process?  Is filling out a form that hard?  Has waiting really been that hard?  It hasn’t been pleasant, but while we’ve waited, we have lived life.  Good things have happened.  While I wish Doodlebug could have been part of our lives for the past 14 months, I can honestly look back on the wait and say we haven’t wasted it being miserable because we’re waiting.  We’ve taken advantage of our time without a little one in the house and done some things that won’t be feasible with a toddler in the home. 

Our wait has also brought connections with many other parents in the same boat as us.  These connections have been a blessing and a lifeline, and although I am excited beyond words to meet my son in a few weeks, the thought of connecting with a few of the moms on our adoption timeline that I correspond with every day and share my thoughts with is also pretty awesome and exciting. 

Our wait has also brought frustration in the really stupid things that people say in response to our decision to adopt from China at this point in our lives.  I recently posted on some comments and questions that we get in response to our choice, but the list continues to grow.  A couple of people have suggested that I “pick up an extra” for them while I’m in China.  Um…I’m not going to the corner store for a loaf of bread?  And for those who have asked if I’m trying to be like Angelina or Madonna?  Really?  Um….sure, minus the acting/singing talent and the gazillions of dollars.  Maybe there will come a time when I will have just heard everything and develop a tolerance for these kinds of comments, but I’m not there yet. 

So back to the question, is it hard to adopt?  I say it is not hard but it is also not easy.  It’s not for the faint of heart.  It is an exercise in tolerance and patience.  People expend their time and energy on things that are important.  And for us, this is important. 

My musings are my musings.  It’s a snapshot of my perspective at one moment in time.  We’re almost done and I’m weary…but I’m really excited.

P.S.  The pictures I've added just for fun are:  1 from our recent cruise of the Western Med and 1 from our weekend in Cardiff, where we ran in to a lovely family we know at the train station.