Gotcha Day and The Day After

DISCLAIMER:  This will be a picture-less post.  We have taken a ton but haven’t taken them off the camera yet.  We will edit/post more tomorrow.

Gotcha Day.  Kyle was brought to our hotel room by our local guide, Missy (we LOVE her) and two representatives from the orphanage – one was Kyle’s primary caregiver and has been since he was a tiny baby.  We got the opportunity to talk to her and ask her a lot of questions and we were given a TON of photos (both digital and in an album of Kyle’s life and Zhifu Children’s Welfare Institute in Yantai City.  We were also given a very nice gift from his orphanage and a list of contact info for other children who’d been adopted from there. 

Kyle walked in to our room and started crying at first but then he smiled and was very cheerful (being coached by his nanny).  He had the photo book that we sent a few months ago and pointed to all of us and said our names.  By the way, Kyle’s Chinese name is Wu Cheng Jin and they call him Jin Jin.  That is what we are calling him now…we’ll work Kyle in as he becomes more comfortable.  He gave kisses, gobbled up the snacks we gave him and dug in to his goody bag (crayons, stickers, a play cell phone, mini etch-a-sketch).  He was all over our room and touching everything.  The reps from his orphanage took a lot of pictures and he was very cooperative and was willing to pose with us. 

After about an hour, we had to go next door and get our family photo taken (which will be embossed on all of our adoption paperwork – thank you Leila Dolan for warning me so I was “prepared” to have my picture taken.  You know me…always vain.  The nanny “snuck out” leaving us alone with Kyle and our guide.  Things were going great until we began switching rooms – we moved rooms within our hotel, more on that later.  The switch was very abrupt and Zack had a complete and utter meltdown as we got in to our new room.  His beloved daddy was carrying another child and we didn’t allow him to push the button on the elevator.  Kyle was somewhat subdued and really doesn’t know what to make of Zack’s “exuberance”.  I’m sure he was thinking “well, the parents seem OK, but I don’t know about this other kid.”  Anyway, as soon as our guide Missy left, Kyle went in to shut down mode.  Although he’d just met her that afternoon, she was the last safe and familiar person that spoke his language.  He sat in the window sill for about an hour.  He allowed me to interact with him but it was clear he didn’t want me to touch him and he didn’t want to move.  He cried a little bit but was mostly exhibiting just very stressed and anxious behavior. 

This lasted through most of the evening and toward bedtime, he snapped out of his funk and began laughing and interacting with us.  He handed me a crayon, called me “mama” and allowed me to feed him some snacks.  He cried when we put him to sleep but that did not last long and he slept the entire night.  He was pretty perky when he woke up and ate a good breakfast.  He was laughing and playing and indicating he wanted to be held. 

Everything was great until we went to the Civil Affairs office to complete the paperwork.  His “nanny” (whom he calls mama) was there and of course, he wanted her instead of me.  To her credit, she tried to sit outside the door while we were doing the paperwork, but he knew she was there and he wanted to go to her.  He was still willing to interact with us, but he did keep trying to run for the door. 

When we left the Civil Affairs office to go to the Notary Office, I gave the nanny a hug and told her thank you for loving our boy.  I was pretty surprised when Missy told me that she’d be accompanying us to the Notary and would be with us throughout the day.  My thought was “why” but I didn’t say anything.  In the van, Kyle sat on her lap and was very content and happy to interact with her.  To her credit, she did half-ass try to steer him back toward me but that wasn’t going to happen.  I wasn’t going to insist that a three year old whose life was just completely disrupted sit with a stranger (even though that stranger happens to be his mom) in a confined space when the woman he thinks is mom is right there. 

When we got to the Notary Office, Kyle decided he wanted nothing to do with me and wanted to be held and cuddled by the nanny.  Again, she did try to send him to sit by me and of course, he was having none of that.  Lee and I did get a little upset – OK a lot – and questioned her presence.  Our response from Missy was that “the nanny loves him and wants to be here with him”.  As harsh as it sounds, we made the call to ask her to leave and not accompany us during the rest of the appointments.  There was no need for her to be there other than her obvious attachment to and concern for Kyle…which I totally get an am grateful for.  The orphanage reps are required to touch base with the family after the 24 hour “harmonious period” – we could have chosen to NOT proceed with the adoption and they would have to take him back to the orphanage.  Her presence the rest of the day was overkill and while I do understand…it wasn’t conducive to our family and our newest family member’s adjustment.  

Kyle did pretty well the rest of the day.  He warmed up more as the day went on.  He “mommy shops” a little bit and has to be directed to me, but by early evening, he was coming up to me and saying “mama” and asking to be picked up.  He gives kisses, feeds me bits of food and holds my hand when I tell him he has to.  He allowed us to give him a bath and wash his hair after some initial trepidation – I didn’t want to stress him out and do this so soon but it is SO HOT here and he was so sweaty and dirty.  It went fine.  He actually enjoyed the bath and the lotion and powder that came after.  He allowed Lee to “trim his nails”…there was no trimming going on, but Lee was cutting Zack’s and Kyle wanted his turn, too.  Kyle did think he was getting his nails trimmed, so I guess that counts.  He let me brush his teeth as well.  We learned this morning that he’d never used a toothbrush, so I wasn’t really going to push that, either, but he saw Zack using his electric Sponge Bob toothbrush, so we brushed his teeth with plain water and he loved it. 

Kyle had another period of stress before bedtime.  He didn’t want to get in to bed while we were reading Zack his story and stood by the bed, pretending not to look, I think.  He about fell asleep on his feet and Lee picked him up and he was out in about thirty seconds.  He’s been asleep ever since. 

All things considered, things are going well.  It was about day four with Zack when we started seeing spontaneous smiling and silliness…while we are seeing some of that with Kyle, he still very much has his guard up and is probably homesick.  He is very loved by his new family and we’re so happy to finally have him. 

So that was the good and the bad – now for the ugly.  Kyle is a beautiful and intelligent child and I can glimpse a little bit of a little “wild man” who is going to compliment Zack’s exuberant personality and probably make me lose my battle with vanity and go “au naturalle” with my true hair color (yes, it’s gray, dammit) sooner than I intended.  That said, he is seriously underweight.  We were expecting a slight of build child but we were not expecting to see skin and bones.  All of the pictures we’ve seen show him in bulky clothes.  He has spindly little legs and arms and his chest is so bony, it’s almost concave and you can see the bones in his spine.  The clothes I brought were 18-24 months and the shorts fall off his bum when I put them on.  I’d guess he’s probably going to need 12 month pants…his shoulders are a little wider than his bottom half and once he fills out, he’ll be able to wear some bigger sizes.  We had to go to a Chinese department store today and buy him some new duds – totally interesting experience (by the way, my new boy likes escalators and sunglasses – and I have another lady killer on my hands).  He is in a size “85” in China – whatever that is and they’re pretty roomy at that. 

I am going to go with the assumption that the orphanage staff (who obviously did care for him) did what they thought was best when it came to his feeding.  There is nothing I can do except go forward and fatten him up and be the best mom that I can.  It was hard today seeing him grieve and hard for me to see how skinny he is and how translucent his skin is.  He seriously needs some meat on his bones and some fresh air and vitamins.  That, and my wonderful cooking.

Zack is doing pretty well for the most part.  I’m really glad we brought him because I think it is making the adjustment easier for Kyle…as in “well, that other kid doesn’t seem to mind them…maybe they’re all right”.  He is not used to having to share his parents or his possessions with anyone else and we’ve had some tears…with Zack those are usually short lived and we ended the day with them holding hands and Zack saying “we’re brothers”. 

Pictures soon…I promise.  He is a peanut but he is really precious and we’re so excited he’s a Robbins!  Cheers, people!

Travel & Day 1 in Beijing

Our trip yesterday was long but relatively smooth, as those things go.  Our flights were on time and smooth…just long.  The flight from London to Dubai is about 6 hours and the flight from Dubai to Beijing is close to 7 hours…with a 4 hour layover in between. 

If you ever get a chance to experience Emirates, they are really world-class.  The economy cabin seats are almost as nice as business class on an American carrier.  They had awesome individual in-seat entertainment systems, with USB and outlet connectors in each seat and they had delicious food and beverage service.  Their children’s packs were amazing – Zack came away from both flights with a backpack filled with goodies (to include a magna-doodle and a Dr. Seuss book), a blanket, a stuffed animal, a new coloring book with crayons and a pack full of sundries/toiletries.  The kid meals included enough snacks to keep even the whiniest kids happy on a long flight. 

Zack did really well in flight – he slept about 75 percent of the way. The on board entertainment had Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, which is his flavor of the moment, so all was good.  Considering we had to visit the ER “between flights” he was a total rock star. Zack has upper respiratory crud right now, which showed up our second day in Ireland.  We took him to get checked out to make sure he was OK to travel and spent 4 hours in the ER to be told to give him honey and Benadryl.  Since this is a blog post dedicated to travel, I will hold off on a rant about military healthcare and their stinginess to prescribe real medicine. 

We were met at the airport by Michael, our Beijing guide from last year, who was very happy to see us again and to meet the kids.  He is very polite about it, but I think he is very puzzled about why we are adopting again…three kids seems like a lot to him and I think the “large family” concept is something he just does not get. 

It took us almost 2 hours to get to our hotel (we’re at the Novatel Peace again) and we were WIPED by the time we got there.  We have a pretty nice setup – connecting rooms – and I like the hotel a lot better this time around.  We have a nicer room and a larger bath. 

We exchanged some money and went out in search of some food.  We went to a local restaurant that specialized in dumplings…it did not seem like a place frequented by tourists, but the staff was very nice and friendly.  They had a picture menu and we managed to order by pointing at some stuff.  We had a bunch of different dumplings and some soup.  Very delish…Zack had 3 bowls of soup. 

We started our first day in Beijing pretty early and went to the Temple of Heaven.  It is HOT here.  We enjoyed the temple and the exhibits and watching the older people do their exercises and socializing in the park.  Michael told us that in China the compulsory retirement ages are 55 for women and 60 for men.  The park was a plethora of “seasoned” Chinese folk doing all sorts of exercise routines, playing badminton and a game that sort of looked like hackey sack, knitting, playing chess, singing in groups and in general, just hanging out and visiting.  It was very cool. 

 

We got stared at a lot, which doesn’t really phase me, but it is a different experience for Laura.  I think that the Chinese are surprised to see a Chinese child with a Western family.  I’ve been told that the average Chinese person is unaware of foreign adoption from their country, which makes sense when you consider how many people there are in China versus how many kids are adopted out each year…it’s actually a pretty small percentage.  Another thing I learned is that Zack is a really handsome boy.  I know people might think I say that because I’m his mom, but he really is a good looking kid.  He gets a lot of attention from Chinese people of all ages, which he totally eats up. 

After the Temple of Heaven, we went on a rickshaw ride and tour of the Hutong District.  Hutong means “narrow street”, and basically, this is the old part of Beijing.  We met some of the locals and bought some really cool artwork – another paper cutout to compliment the one we got last year and some watercolors on delicate rice paper.  Love them. 

 

 

Michael took us to a “time honored” vegetarian restaurant for lunch.  Lee and I kind of crack up each time Michael says “time honored”…I don’t know why.  We love Michael…he is such a great guy and so eager to show us the very best his city has to offer.  He was the first person we interacted with when we came to China last year and we know so much more about this strange and wonderful place because of him.  Anyhoo…this vegetarian restaurant is famous because all of the stuff they serve tastes like it has real meat.  I was skeptical, but oh my word…it was totally true!  The things that they can do with tofu are just amazing!  We had a spicy “chicken” and peanut dish that I am still not totally convinced was vegetarian.  We had deep fried lotus flowers that tasted just like a buffalo chicken strip.  It was amazing.  Zack had 5 bowls of tofu soup and nothing else.  He is seriously on a soup kick. 

We are chillaxin’ at the hotel this afternoon…we plan to check out the pool later and maybe wander down to the Forbidden City area for some pictures.  Snack street is definitely on the agenda later…but probably not on the menu.  Although…Laura is really hell bent on sampling a starfish on a stick.  More power to her. 

We have a late start (10 AM) tomorrow but a long day.  We are going to visit the Great Wall and go to a tea house for the traditional tea ceremony and then go to the acrobat show at night.  These are all things we did last year, but we enjoyed them, so happy to have a repeat.  It will be different with Zack and Laura in tow this time, so it will be fun to have see them have fun…stayed tuned!

Thanks for all of the prayers and good wishes. They are definitely felt and appreciated and we are having a great time so far. 

 

And We're Off!

We are China bound!  Here is our itinerary:

Aug 7 - Leave London at 2:15 PM (this means leave the house at 8:00 AM to compensate for traffic/construction delays on the way to Heathrow and to satisfy my dear husband's need to be uber early everywhere.  I can't complain...he and I have never missed a flight).

Aug 8 - Arrive Beijing at 3:10 PM.  Yes...we lost an entire day traveling.  It is a long trip.  We have a layover in Dubai, which is a blessing and a curse.  It is a blessing because it breaks up what would be a very long non-stop flight and because I seriously heart Emirates airline.  It is a curse because the Dubai International Airport is CRAZY TOWN and my dear husband doesn't like it.  And because we have to entertain a 3 year old whose days & nights are out of whack for 4 hours in the airport.  But I kind of like Dubai International.  It is a cross between Las Vegas and the Grand Bazaar.  We arrived there once at 3:00 AM - I don't think I have ever seen a more rockin' place. 

 

Aug 9-10 - Spent in Beijing.  We will be staying at the Novatel Peace Hotel near the Forbidden City/Tiananmen Square.  We plan to see the Great Wall, the Temple of Heaven and explore the Hutongs.  We are trying to keep our Beijing stay very relaxed and low key.  We did "power touring" last time and it was great, but with a larger group and a toddler in tow, we don't want to over-plan and just see how we do.  We do intend to make a stop at "Snack Street" where we can sample some delicacies such as starfish on a stick or fried scorpion.  Yum. 

Aug 11 - Travel via train to Jinan, the capital city of Shandong Province.  We will meet Kyle at 4:30 PM.  Kyle is from Yantai City, which is some distance away from the capital.  One of the workers from his orphanage will bring him to us, and we're hoping this is someone he is somewhat comfortable with and who is familiar with his habits so we can ask questions about his routine. 

Aug 12-13 - Complete China portion of the adoption (registration, passport application, etc).  Based on our experience last time, we know this will involve a lot of fingerprinting and red ink. 

Aug 14-15 - These will be "free" days in Jinan while we wait for the passport to be processed.  We hope to be able to explore and take some pictures of Kyle's home province. 

Aug 16 - Receive passport/fly to Guangzhou.  Arrive in the evening.  We will be staying at the Holiday Inn Shifu again...we are so excited! 

Aug 17 - Medical Processing.  Kyle has to go through a compulsory medical exam to include a TB test. 

Aug 18-19 - Free Days - kind of.  There will be paperwork to do with our Guangzhou guides, who help us complete the U.S. portion of the adoption and work with the U.S. Consulate.  We also have to fit in a trip to the British Consulate to get permission for Kyle to enter the UK as a Chinese tourist (I know...it sounds complicated...because it is).  We hope to do some fun things in Guangzhou as well and take some time to relax at the hotel and continue to get to know Kyle. 

Aug 20 - Interview at the U.S. Consulate.  After this, we are just waiting on his passport with his visa to enter the U.S. (our situation is a little more complicated) back to us. 

Aug 21 - Free day...basically just padding in case anything goes wrong

Aug 22 - We fly back to England the same way we came.  Our flight leave at 11:55 PM, so we have quite a bit of the day to enjoy Guangzhou.

Aug 23 - Arrive back in England at 12:15 PM local time.  We should be tucked in at home well in time for dinner.  I spent quite a bit of time freezer cooking last week, so we have plenty of yummy food and won't have to rush out to the market. 

So that is our trip in a nutshell.  What I've left out is that we just got back from our family vacation this afternoon.  We flew in early afternoon and we’re scheduled to fly out again early afternoon tomorrow.  Clearly, we’re crazy. Yes, we had the opportunity to cancel/reschedule our vacation…in the end, we opted not to.  It would have resulted in lost money and lost opportunity…we won’t live on this side of the world forever and we took advantage of an amazing opportunity that was presented to us. 

Answers to some questions we've received:

The first time we meet Kyle will be the point where he is permanently placed in our physical care.  In other words, there is no "get to know you" period.  Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers.  This is a tremendous adjustment for our little man.  We are ready for him.  We have been hoping, praying and planning for him for many months.  He many not see things the same way and he is about to have his life turned upside down. 

Kyle and Zack will be brothers.  Yes, real brothers.  They don’t share biology but they will share a family.  “Real” is the only word that fits. 

Kyle will be a U.S. citizen as soon as he enters U.S. soil. 

I will go back to work the Monday after we get home – yikes.  Lee will stay home for a bit and I will work a lighter work schedule, taking some more time off toward mid-late September.  It’s our goal to have both parents back at work full time and both the littles in nursery by the middle of October.  We’re playing things by ear and allowing our family the opportunity to adjust to being 5. 

We will have visitors/outings as soon as we feel ready.  Not knowing how Kyle will adjust to life with us, we’re not really making plans.  If you want to meet our newest addition, catch us when we’re out and about or give us a call and see if we’re up to company.  We will definitely be up to any offers to help with meals or chores.  Jet lag is brutal and we’re hitting the ground running with getting back to work and school.  If you are local to me and reading this, any help you can give would be welcome. 

Keep us all in your thoughts and prayers over the coming days.  We’re traveling a long ways as a family of four – and a relatively new family of four at that.  Read on. 

Week 29

It has been 29 weeks since we received pre-approval from the China Center for Children’s Welfare Activities to proceed with Kyle’s adoption. 

This week has been…

Hectic.  That is all.

Big Adoption News:  We have our Consulate Appointment!  Our “exit interview” is scheduled for August 20^th, so now we are able to make our travel arrangements, which we are in the process of doing right now.    

Next Up…

Just waiting to firm up the last details of our trip.  Our agency makes some of the arrangements for us and we make some of the arrangements ourselves through a travel agent that is familiar with adoption travel.  Once we have all of the details hammered out I will post our itinerary.  We do know that we are going to meet Kyle on the 11^th of August at 4:30 PM and THAT is very exciting news. 

 

 

Fun Things We Did This Week:

We stayed pretty close to home and are focused on getting prepared for our trip.  We had a fun afternoon out at a shrimp boil today but mostly, we’ve been focused on cleaning, sorting, packing for two back-to-back trips (more on that later) and getting the little necessities taken care of (kenneling the cat, stopping the mail, MASSIVE freezer cooking efforts so we will have meals ready to eat when we get back). 

Yes…this is really happening. 

 

 

 

 

Week 28

 

It has been 28 weeks since we received pre-approval from the China Center for Children’s Welfare Activities to proceed with Kyle’s adoption. 

This week has been…

Calming – at least things were calm around here until Friday night when we got our big news.  This week I have really tried to focus on the things that were important to me and not dwell on the things that won’t matter in the long run or things I can’t change.  Adoption is very stressful…maybe I make it more so than it needs to be, but instead of whining about having no support network, I’ve tried to take the approach of taking care of myself and focus on the people in my life that are important to me.  I have some very important people who are counting on me to hold my poop together.  I know that many people who we interact with day-to-day just don’t “get it” when it comes to our adoptions.  While that makes me sad…it’s time to put on my big girl panties and press on.  Like my friend Suzie would say – suck it up, buttercup.    

Big Adoption News:  We have Travel Approval!  This means that China has invited us to come over and complete Kyle’s adoption.  We were actually a little surprised about this and not expecting this till next week.

This is what TA looks like- what all the big fuss is about!  The picture is one we'd not seen before and is probably the earliest picture of Kyle there is...most likely from his "finding ad".  He was pretty sick when he was found and while I can tell that is Kyle...it is so nice to see a happy/healthy 3 year old boy in the pics we're so lucky to have. 

Next big expense…

We received an invoice from our agency this week for $3,000.00.  There are still some FedEx fees to be paid as well – we have probably spent about $500 per adoption in FedEx fees, which are paid out a little at a time…I really try not to think about it but that is a “hidden cost” that adds up.  Travel will be a MAJOR expense for us.  We will be hammering out the details of all of that this coming week.  I’d hoped we’d have a better outcome with the grants but we are really hoping that we get some good news from the remaining three that we have out there. 

Next Up…

Finalization of our Consulate Appointment (CA) from the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China.  This is the “exit interview” that all American families must go through before leaving China with their newly adopted children.  All other appointments/travel are triggered off of this one appointment, so until the consulate confirms our appointment, we can’t tell you when we are leaving or when we will meet Kyle.  We’ve requested the 19^th of August, which would put us as leaving England around 7-8 August and coming back on the 20-21^st of August, but until we get confirmation of our CA, we are in limbo. 

Fun Things We Did This Week:

I took a much needed day off of work last week and took the train in to London.  I had lunch at Five Guys (the American food fix did wonders) and did some shopping & visiting with a lady who is in my DTC Facebook group (this is about 200 moms who are roughly at the same point in the China process as we are).  This new friend is an American living in London with her family and it was very good for my soul to be able to talk to someone who “gets it”.  The adoption process has been really stressful for me and (what I perceive as) the lack of support we get from others has been wearing on me.  I guess international adoption isn’t something easily understood unless it’s personally touched you, and it was just really good for me to have some of my feelings validated and to be able to talk to someone who understands. 

As far as other fun, just a quiet weekend of hanging out and a little bit of housework, and throwing around different travel scenarios.  Our family calendar got completely screwed up this weekend and I managed to mess up all of our plans by my scheduling snafus, but I think the unplanned down time was good for all of us. 

Cheers. 

 

Laundry, Unmentionables, & Repurposing

Taking a break from some of the adoption blogging to pass on a few recent money saving success stories. 

Laundry on the Cheap

I blogged a few months ago about making my own laundry soap.  I made a batch in mid-March and I’m just now running out in July.  I have 4 people in my family and we do a lot of laundry.  I had always meant to share a cheapie solution for fabric softener, but I never got around to it.  So here goes. 

I have had the same bottle of fabric softener for 4+ months.  It’s about half full now.  I keep a small plastic container in my laundry room filled with diluted liquid fabric softener.  I use 3 parts water to 1 part softener.  I keep a couple of rags inside this container and before I start the dryer, I wring one out and toss it in.  I have no issues with static and my clothes smell nice.  The downside is that it is a little bit messy.  A dryer sheet is neater but my messier method is about one-tenth the cost of buying sheets, so…

 

My cheap laundry solutions have saved me a ton of money and not cost me very much time.  Success! 

Online Shopping

Most everyone shops online these days, especially those of us living overseas.  Don’t get me wrong, its fun to shop in England, but it’s expensive and some things just aren’t the same.  A friend told me about Coupon Cabin shortly after I moved here.  I NEVER buy anything online without checking for an online code.  Through trial and error, I pretty much know which company is always going to have something and which companies never do.  I almost always snag a discount, a freebie or free shipping on whatever I’m buying. 

www.couponcabin.com

The site is user friendly.  Just search for your store.  There is a feedback form for bad codes but I’ve never had any not work. 

Major score today – I bought two bras at from Victoria’s Secret online.  I used two separate coupon codes (some sites allow you to use multiple codes) and got: 

          Free shipping

          A free pair of undies

          A free beach bag

Yes, I know not everyone wants to read about my underwear and trust me, I don’t want to provide more detail than that…but come on!  That’s pretty amazing!  The beach bag I don’t need, but Christmas is coming.  The shipping was about $13.00, so it was nice to have that back in my pocket. 

And finally…

Cuttin’ Up

I try to recycle, reuse and repurpose.  That whole green thing, you know.  I recently started flattening and cutting up thin cardboard boxes (think cereal, granola bars, crackers) in to index card sized pieces.  I can use them for anything I would use a notecard for (notes, a list, etc) but I mostly use them for Doodlebug.  These are great to keep him entertained when we are traveling.  He can draw or color and make “postcards” or I can give him a sheet of stickers and he’ll stick the stickers on the card.  I recently bought a bunch of 75% off stickers, so that makes a cheap way of keeping him entertained on a train or plane for about 30 seconds – a little longer if I am lucky. 

So, I’ve saved some money doing my laundry and keeping my kiddo entertained, got a good deal on some new unmentionables and got a little jump on my Christmas shopping.  Life in the frugal lane is sweet.  Cheers!

100 Good Wishes

This is not a post about sewing.  Everyone knows I can't sew...OK, I can sew a button on in a pinch, but that's about it.  It's something I've always wanted to learn how to do but never got around to learning. 

I am collecting quilt squares for my boys for a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Good Wishes Quilt. It is a Chinese custom for friends and family to welcome a new baby with patches of cloth and a wish for the child.  Part of the cloth goes in to the quilt and swatch of fabric stays in a notebook/memory book for the child.  The swatches of fabric are said to contain the luck, energy and good wishes of the contributor. 

I feel pretty strongly about preserving any small pieces of Chinese heritage and culture for my boys.  Maybe it's because I feel some sadness that I missed so much of their early years.  Maybe I feel some guilt that I caused them to be taken from their home country, despite the better opportunities that they will undoubtedly enjoy as part of our family. 

I really try to absorb and inject small pieces of Chinese culture in to our lives, but I'm sure I fall short.  Learning to cook a couple of passable Chinese dishes, handing out red envelopes for Chinese New Year and using a few simplified (and what I'm sure are badly pronounced) Chinese words here and there just don't seem enough.  But a quilt I can do...and if I can't do it, I can sure cause it to be done.  I know people who sew! 

So far, I have 30 quilt squares for each of my boys and I have the promise that about half a dozen more are in the mail/will come soon.  I've loved looking at all of the different prints and reading all of the wishes.  Most - though not all - are from a quilt swap I did with other "China moms". 

Any way you look at it, I'm nowhere near 100.  I could make a quilt (again...stressing not me make it exactly but you know what I mean) with 50 or so squares. But I don't want that.  I want to preserve the tradition.  I want the benefit/mojo/luck...whatever...of all 100 wishes. 

Some have asked about things Kyle might need or welcome home gifts.  We don't need a thing.  We've got enough toys for two kids to fight over and I'm a thrift shop/clearance rack girl for clothes and such - we're good.  What I would really love is to get to 100 with my quilt squares.  Who wants a 36 good wishes quilt?  Just not the same!

Here are the details:
Cotton fabric, preferably fabric that has been washed.  It doesn't have to be new and it doesn't have to be any particular pattern.  Something that represents the person who gives it would be nice, but really, any cotton fabric is fine.

Most of my squares are 8X8 - 10X10.  I will probably end up cutting them down a little bit. 

The "wish" can be written/typed on any sort of paper, but a 3X5 index card size is nice.  Each "wish" has a swatch of the fabric attached to it so that we can someday pick out the wish that corresponds to the square on the quilt and see who it is from.  I've got all of our wishes in a photo album.  There are some that are really fancy with craft paper, caligraphy and clever paper craft techniques and some that are really simple.  Some of the "wishes" are scriptures, some are Chinese proverbs, some are just things that were written from the heart.  You can use a line from a poem or a lyric from a song...whatever inspires you and represents you. 

I hope my boys never feel sorry for themselves because of their beginnings.  I hope we can raise them to be strong and confident young men who are proud of who they are and where they came from.  That said, the fact that their birth families chose not to raise them might cause them some pain one day.  I'm not sure if the wishes in tangible form that 100 people made when they were small and just joining their new family would mitigate any angst they might someday feel.  But...it comforts me to know that I did my best to make sure they had some reminders to show how much they were loved, welcomed and wanted by our family. 

If you are reading this, I would love for you to be a part of this quilt.  I would love for you to share this with anyone you think might be interested in being a part of this project.  If you would like to swap squares with me, you can leave a comment here or email me at jillhudkins@hotmail.com.  I'll accept a square from anyone who has a good wish, but you will have to let me know if you would like to collect a wish in return. 

My mailing address is: PSC 41 Box 2764, APO AE 09464.  It's a military post office box overseas - no foreign postage, but the envelope may need a customs form.  It's New York postage rate. 

I am collecting squares for BOTH Zack and Kyle. I didn't swap squares while we were in the process of Zack's adoption - the whole sewing thing scared me off.  But...I learned a little more about the tradition behind the quilt and I think it's a lovely sentiment.  I would like to be able to sew these myself but in reality, I probably won't.  I do want them to look nice and be the heirloom piece that they're intended to be and I don't think my "entry level" sewing would cut it.  I've had a few very kind ladies offer to help me, and I will most certainly be taking someone up on that. 

Cheers, people!